Monday, January 31, 2005 / Monday, January 31, 2005
is it true to love someone in order to forget someone in your heart..it may sound easy...but in reality..think its quite funni...hw can u love someone when u still had not forgotten the one in ur heart..well...these two sentences are realli contradicting...sianz..
juz wana say sorry to someone...hopefully u r reading this...yea u r right...i am still leaving in my own fantasy...hoping for something to come true even though i noe it will not come...but wadever it is..i still choose to take this naive path...though i noe wads gona be the consequence...cuz i juz cant forget him so easily...wait till one day u really love someone...u will understand..sorry to disappoint u...juz forgive me..hope u understand...juz let me live in this misery...and dun bother abt me anymore..broz forever...tats wad u r to me nw..sorry again..take care...
p:s..typing all these down cuz i duno hw to tell u...praying tt u read this..
its kinda hard to believe wad is going on around me...haiz...its been a long time since i felt so fan nao le... well... i went sparks with two days ago...first time dere... wasnt realli comfortable...but no choice...cant go off juz like tt... hmm... smt...juz wish my gd budz could understand me...haiz... she can realli say hurtful stuff to me at times..and she duno wad she said...haiz... also duno why when i told her i went there..she said i've changed...though it may be juz these simple words..but it actualli meant alot to me...its not as if i want to go de ma... p:s:hope u are reading this..u know hu u r..
well...got pretty drunk...so diu lian...haiz...dun even know wad i am doing also...but luckily..got ppl take care...thanks eh...heez...next day...still had to go back work...sianz...dun go also canot... den whole day i was like a walking zombie... head pain...cold..wah...everything tats bad juz turn on to me...sway... den so fed up with the people there... arhhhhh!!! somemore had to stay up pretty late cuz of those customers who are juzt trying for the sake of trying...realli felt like screaming xia....-_-"'
again...i'm at eddie's hse...together with gerard and zhen...juz had supper...haiz...like so embarassed...everytime had to borrow his hse com for the sake of this blog and mails...haha...well...duno why...i am juz so vexed... maybe because i am uncertain abt some stuff...it juz came so sudden...cuz it left juz as sudden abt 1/2 yr ago...didnt expect myself to think abt all these vexing prob again...haha...maybe i shldnt think too much...cuz in the end i might juz be deceiving myself..well...duno la...
lets see...today...i am gona relax! though tml had to wk again... hmm... staying at hme realli makes me sick one day... dun wana face the ceiling or tok to my diary...at least nw..still can tok to my few budz...now...now..now...hahaha...wad now..also duno leh...juz let me cont waiting ba...wait till i age..i die...also dun mind..since i've already waited for so long...juz as wad poon had told me..."dun let heartbreak be my long time fren..." haiz...will always rmb tat...cuz it kept on lingering in my mind these past few days...poon ah...u ah...make me until lidat..but thanks anyway..noe u meant good to me..and thanks for the meet up at night and tat luo suo letter...realli appreciate it..so nice to hav u ard..heez..haiz..for now.. let me pray for myself ba..
once again... wana ask all of those ppl whu wasted their time to read this to take care..since u care..heez...bao zhong wor...to all...and those whu are waiting for results.......juz like me.....
keep calm..hehe...although its hard to...but try la k... jia you wor..
Wednesday, January 19, 2005 / Wednesday, January 19, 2005
tata...haha...look at the title...! u shld noe wad is this post abt right...haha...haiz...look at the last one i posted on this pathetic uninteresting blog...its so so so so so long...until i almost forgotten abt this blog until someone reminds me to updat it...to tat someone: thanks ah =p
its been a long time sice i touched on internet...blame my stupid sis who die die dun wan fixed the modem.. haiz... pathetic.. last time had to use sch lib's internet access..now had to borrow eddie's hse... now with my few gd bros...gerard aung and of cuz eddie..juz had supper at our hse nearby market...so full man... to tink abt it... like very lonh nv sit down eat together lu... cuz we all got work ma...haiz...
2004 was a very bad year...in terms of relationship, friendship...almost everything... dunno why also... haiz... this grp of very gd frens of mine...kinda made me disapppointed... the he in the grp did not ask me and my frens to work with them but they ask another grp instead...cuz he likes a gal there...though its kinda disappointing...but didnt hold it against him also...its juz like now and den i suan him oni..haha...well nvm...everything is over.. our friendship is bakc again! hehe..maybe i shld buy 4D and bet on 2005... well...juz wana put everything behing me and leave it in 2004...hopefully everything goes on smoothly for me...
erm...think almost all the ones i knew are wondering why i didnt go for the 3 months..well... i dun know also... some think i am influence by my buddies whu already decided to go poly... topld them upteem times tt i am not...but no one believes me...haiz... actualli i also dunno the reason la..can say i forgotten to submit the form...and tt i am still undecisive....so work first loh..kill time..and can dun let me think so much...abt him..
haha..guess i am going on and on...hey its once in a long long while tt i post this de right...haha..
erm...results is going to cum out le! scared xia!!! later anywhere also canot go...haiz....muz get myself mentally prepared for tt day...hopefully got people there to share my sorrows and happiness...haha..and i believe i will have.. hehe
okok..toking abt the title..haha...my look kinda changed le...tt time go back sch den teachers also dun recognise me...haha...dunno is it so li hai...maybe they act act de..haha....well..beside my look... i am determined to change my heart...hopefully i can...been 3 plus yrs le....still canot do it...haiz...i am so useless... tt time see tt person..heart almost drop out...still tt same old feeling...haiz...when can i ever get out of this...someone...anyone...save me pls...
alright..have to stop here le....kinda late now..haha...oh my god...eddie is piercing earhole behind me...with the help of aung...arh...so er xin..dun dare to turn....haha....okok...may i hav a prosperous yr! And...take care...all my frens... the ones i am close with..hadnt contacted since long time with...and those whom they think i treat them as emenies with..whuever u r...take care..
